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gorgeous, a bit graphic and a lot grateful...

Our birth story.

A day we have waited for far too long.
A little scared.

The last time I was at this hospital, I walked out without a baby.
Ironically or maybe not, due just days before today a year prior.
Yes. I still cry about it- even as I type.
It's hard to believe and even compare the situations but it's part of our story.
It humbles this entire process for me.

October 29th, 2016 has arrived.
We are here. Here we go.
The entire day went so incredibly smooth.
As if it was planned that way, because maybe it was...

I am not good at hospital stays. It's as if they make me panic.
I'll just say it- as much good comes from them, I hate them.
But the last time I stayed at one (as I mentioned above) I met the most amazing nurse,
she did her job and we said goodbye.
One summer night we ran into her while I was fueling one of those early pregnancy cravings.
Yes, an ice cream sandwich.
We exchanged numbers and kept in touch for what seemed like the longest nine months.
We both had been waiting for this day.
She was scheduled to be my nurse and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
 From the second we got there she was home to me.
It was familiar, it felt right, and we had done this together before.
As she walked us to our room I was so thankful we were here, again.
On the table was a cookie cake and card that made me ugly cry.
Yes. That cry.
I tried to hold back as best as I could but my heart was bursting.
I was so thankful we were here, again.

The two hours before my scheduled C-Section seem to fly by.
I met the staff that would be with me in the OR and I was so happy-
it was as if they were picked just for me.

It was time.
I just wanted him here.
I knew the steps to get him here.
It was my third C-section.
I wanted it to be over.
My amazing husband was my strength,
reminding me to just embrace it.
All of it.

Spinal Done.
Can he come in the room now?
Matt had to wait outside until that part was done and it felt like we were separated for days.
The warmth, tingles, tugs and being pain free, I will relish in.
The conversation, the "we are almost there" I will forever hear over and over.
That cry-
That cry!
It was like angels were singing.
He was here.
Finally here.
Hearty and Healthy.
He was here.

We nuzzled and kissed and smiled as they sewed me back up.
Then we nuzzled and kissed and smiled some more.
He was perfect, just perfect.

He locked onto his daddy and was the most calm, quiet, alert baby-
 taking it all in while holding his daddy's hand.
This mama couldn't have been more happy about that. 
They were in this together from the very beginning.
Father & Son.

Oh my Lord.
Thank you.

"It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravage of the storm.
When a rainbow appears, it does not mean the storm never happened or that the family is not
dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has
appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds."

 Thank you for letting us be a part of the journey.

 Meanwhile back in our room we had the chance to have some of the best snuggle time.
Skin to skin and breast feeding never felt so good.
Coming off all the anesthesia however I wasn't feeling so good.
I've never felt so nauseous in my life.
But I stayed focused on our new little perfect bundle of boy and delivering daddy's push gift.
(and giving credit where credit is due, mine was waiting for me at home.)
Those quiet spinning moments were the world to me.

He was not just the world to me, he came into this world being so loved by so many.
What a precious gift for our little family to unwrap.
The biggest blessing on that October day, he not only completed Matt and I-
He completed the Familia.

 Our little family is the world to me.
I am so proud of us for loving nothing but immensely through this entire process.
Unconditionally Together.
That's just us.

What a joy this boy is...
Our dude Jude.
Jude Matthew.
McLovie's are complete.

Thank you
Katie Mathis 
for capturing all these priceless moments for our family.
They will be forever cherished.  

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